the question why

Hello everyone. I've decided to start this blog in an effort to communicate with you all at least once a week about different things that need to be said, or are going on, or whatever. Hopefully through this you'll be able to see my heart as a worship leader and maybe I'll be able to see yours from responses.

First off, let me say that I in no way feel adequate to be telling you all what to do or how to do it, especially those of you who I grew up calling Mr. or Mrs. However, I have been given this authority so now I have to decide what I'm going to do with it. And here is just one of my efforts.

This week I want you to ask yourself the question "why?". Not why did God let such and such happen, or why have these things been put into my life, but rather why do I do what I do? Ask yourself why you are on the worship team, why you sing special music, why you even come to church at all.

I've been finding myself wrestling with these questions and found myself not really having answers at times. I used to come to church because I'd get in trouble if I didn't (thanks for those spankings mom & dad :). Then, when it became my choice it was mostly just to save face. I honestly was doing plenty of things for a long time that God wouldn't have called righteous (and neither would anybody else), but I was still up front and still helping to lead because that's just what I've always done. Hmm... what we've always done. Heard that one before?

Why do I sing special music? It used to be to show off. It really was. Occasionally I'd rationalize it to something spiritual, but usually it was because I felt talented enough to do it. Or maybe it was just my inner rock star coming out, or my need for attention. Who knows, but it was totally the wrong motivation.

Why do I do worship team? Again it used to be for such incredibly wrong motives. I enjoyed singing, I enjoyed playing guitar, and I loved being in a band (some of you may remember those CrewmanNumber7 days). Music had become my life and worship music was still music so I played it (there's that Rock Star thing again).

But what are the answers now? While sometimes my old habits fight to come back to the surface I can honestly say that I love... and I really do mean LOVE... worshiping God on Sundays. Especially those days where my heart is right and my focus is Him (there are days where it isn't). Man, when God connects with me through a song there's just something that is so amazing. So amazing that I can feel it through all of me and it makes me so joyful. And you know what the best part is? There could be 1,000 people watching or none and I would feel the exact same way. That is when I worshiping right. When I worship right I'm able to bring others to the same point.

So now it's your turn. Ask yourselves those questions. Be honest though. Really struggle through it. If you come out the other side of this struggle with a brutally honest answer of "to bring glory to God" then praise the Lord. If not, maybe it's time to reevaluate some things in your life. I can't tell you what exactly those things are, but you know what you need to change.

So think about it this week, and remember to always take time to reevaluate your life on a regular basis. Getting into a rut won't help you change. I hope you really do take the time to think about this, I may even ask everyone during a practice (this goes for you tech guys too!) so we can see how we're doing. Remember, your motivation affects everything.