Last night I felt somewhat prideful, no not somewhat prideful, most definitely prideful. I had had a conversation with my future mother-in-law and won (in my opinion). As I've been thinking about this over the past 24 hours I feel horrible for thinking that. She's supposed to see Christ in me, not some snobby jerk who just wants to prove to her that it's my choice, not hers about when and who I marry. Yeah, I was calm and that was totally the Lord, but this pride was not.
Before I talk about attitudes I have some confession I need to do first. I have not been the leader you all deserve. There are times when I get it right, but for the most part I've felt somewhat entitled to what I have. I'm not sure why, but I have. I've gotten frustrated. I've judged. I've put some of you down in my head for what I deemed as "lack of talent". I've allowed myself to somehow glorify my position and somehow think that I'm better at things than I really am. Trust me, I know how much I lack talent (I listen to myself on the recordings after the service, and there are a lot of ouch notes coming from my mouth). I've taken control of aspects of this ministry that others were in charge of and I never thought twice about how they would feel. I've pushed. I've reacted. I've sometimes allowed sin to really creep into my life and distract not only me, but made it a distraction for others.
For all of that I am sorry. You may not even know that any of this has gone on, but now you do. I truly and utterly am sorry. My attitude has not been right. You all give up your time and your efforts and abilities to come and do the same thing I do: help others worship the One and Only God. Because I get paid means jack squat. I really am thankful that all of you put in the time. We wouldn't have a worship ministry without all of you. If you didn't have God given talents and desires you wouldn't be here. Forgive me for forgetting all of that.
So as I continue in the post please remember I'm working on these things with you.
Now that we've talked about preparing our hearts for worship in the morning I would like to discuss our attitudes towards each other. This will not be as much a spiritual thing as more of a practical outflowing of our desire to create a worshipful environment.
I know 8:45am on Sundays can be early for some of you. Actually, probably most of you, especially those of you who have kids you need to get ready. When we come in I'm sure the last thing on our minds is "how can I have a good attitude towards these people I'm working with?". But I'm hoping it becomes something you think about (and not just on Sunday).
I've noticed that sometimes we react to things. There are 2 specific examples that I'm thinking about. The first situation usually comes up right after we've finished the first song and throughout it you probably couldn't hear the worship leader, your voice was too low, the keyboard was too loud, the piano drowned out everything, or heaven forbid that we heard the bass player over it all. As soon as we finish you shout "I need this in my monitor, or AHHH I NEED SANITY (ok, no I've never actually heard that one)". If you were the sound guy how would you react? I'd probably wanna tell YOU to run the sound board bucko.
Sound familiar? it should, it's happened. We should always be considerate of how we're coming off to each other at practice. Instead of all of us demanding our requests here's what we're gonna do from here on (it'll take some time to get used to this, and it may change):
1. We'll start with the worship leader (yes, because i'm the most important (totally kidding!), mostly because since I (or whoever it may be) needs to be able to direct and hear everything in our monitors
2. Vocalists. Since there are multiple of you sharing your monitor it may be hard to get a mix you all agree with but we'll try. Just calmly let the sound guy know what you need (it helps if you talk into your mic so he can hear what your asking him to change)
3. Piano. Again, same thing, just ask for what you need.
4. Keyboard.
5. Bass.
As we get more/better equipment all of this will become more routine.
Scenario 2: Joe is trying to tell everyone what's going on, but people are late, talking out in the hallway, talking on stage, etc. I encourage this kind of community. I love that we are all friends and can talk about some powerful (and some strange) stuff. But when practice starts it starts and we need everyone's full attention. As a side note, practice STARTS at 8:15p on wed. and 8:45a on Sunday. Starts, as in you need to have yo bum where it needs to be before the clock strikes those times (otherwise i'll take your glass slippers and pretty gown away). Joking aside, it wastes time when people aren't prompt. Sound/video guys should be there a minimum of 5 minutes early and realistically should be there in time to check all mics/speakers/batteries etc. Musicians should be seated and have all music out and be tuned by these times. If you're not, your attitude says "my time is more important than yours".
Ok side note aside, showing each other respect on stage is the key factor in all this. That doesn't just mean not doing things, but it also means encouraging each other. When someone does something creative that just sounds sweet, let them know you liked it. If someone looks nice, let them know it. If you think joe looks better shaved, well, ok you get the drift.
Our attitudes always need re-evaluated and I hope this helps you to think. Maybe you've noticed some other thing that you think are worth mentioning here. Feel free to email me ideas or comment. I'll be working on my attitude and I hope you'll be working on yours and through all of this we'll look back.... and worship.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Pre-Worship
So it's 1am right now and I feel the need to post today (yes, i know we're past a week, hence why i call it an "almost weekly blog"). I'm sitting here thinking about worship (i know, strange concept at 1am)
Isn't it remarkable how easy it is to worship God when you're in the Word, praying, and in general just getting things right? I love those times of worship. It's like anything and everything you see and hear is calling out to God creating beautiful harmonies of praise to the one and only Creator. I read an article about David Crowder Band and some of their music is based off of sounds they hear (for instance, "O Praise Him" is based off of the hum of jet engines during travel to one of their concerts). It's so great to know that God cares about all the intricacies of life.
The opposite, however, is the pits. It can be one of the most frustrating things to try and worship when you're life isn't right. You know what I'm talking about... those days where you got angry and blew up at your spouse, the day you caught yourself eyeballing that cute girl at Chocolate World (wait... that was me), or just the day where you went to bed knowing you should be reading the Bible and praying, but decided you'd rather sleep (knowing God will forgive). There are plenty of other things, of course, but I'll let you think those through.
It's those days where it's hardest to worship. Rather than walking outside and hearing the birds sing a song to God, you're ticked that you have to scrape off your windshield.
The problem is that sometimes those days are Sundays. Since we're all worship leaders we have an added responsibility to come prepared to lead in worship... and how do we do that? well, we worship and thank God for all He is and all He has done. But we can't do that when we're wondering if the pot roast is burning or if we're still mad at our husband for not helping get all the kids ready. We need to be prepared to worship before we take the platform on Sunday morning. I'm going to call this pre-worship.
Ok let's stop, take a break and I'll tell you what's prompting this topic. I struggle with this concept of pre-worship (a lot). I drove home tonight thinking about some things that happened today and frankly asking God to forgive me for not sticking to my guns in some things today. For not taking opportunities to serve. For being lazy. I really hate disappointing God (although it seems to be a gift i have). I hate doing something i know is wrong and having that horrible guilty feeling right after, knowing i'll need to ask for forgiveness, but knowing i'm not worthy of it.
Last week at this same time I was sleeping. I had done most things right last sat. I was ready to worship God the next day and excited to do so. This week I'm having trouble getting my mind off the guilt I have and the disapointment i feel God must have (praise the Lord He's forgiving). I'm thinking about how I'll be waking up in 5 hours and how I can't wait for an afternoon nap. I'm thinking i need to post a blog, get the powerpoint done and transferred, tune my guitar (broke a string on wed.), get things ready, do this do that... you notice how God wasn't anywhere in there? Like i said last week, our motivation determines everything. My motivation is way off this week. I need to get centered on God. The rest of all that junk will take care of itself. If i'm going to lead God needs to be important not all the things i need to do before and after i supposedly worship.
So here's the challenge: take time each Sunday morning (figure out how this will work into your schedule) to quiet yourself and talk to God. Do it for more than 10 minutes, try 20 or 30 this time. Ask Him to help you lead this morning (or if you're not leading, ask him to reveal himself to you). Ask Him to help you see worship in your surroundings. Ask Him to show you ways in which you can give back to Him. I hope everyone in church would do this, but my charge is to you.
May we grow together.
Isn't it remarkable how easy it is to worship God when you're in the Word, praying, and in general just getting things right? I love those times of worship. It's like anything and everything you see and hear is calling out to God creating beautiful harmonies of praise to the one and only Creator. I read an article about David Crowder Band and some of their music is based off of sounds they hear (for instance, "O Praise Him" is based off of the hum of jet engines during travel to one of their concerts). It's so great to know that God cares about all the intricacies of life.
The opposite, however, is the pits. It can be one of the most frustrating things to try and worship when you're life isn't right. You know what I'm talking about... those days where you got angry and blew up at your spouse, the day you caught yourself eyeballing that cute girl at Chocolate World (wait... that was me), or just the day where you went to bed knowing you should be reading the Bible and praying, but decided you'd rather sleep (knowing God will forgive). There are plenty of other things, of course, but I'll let you think those through.
It's those days where it's hardest to worship. Rather than walking outside and hearing the birds sing a song to God, you're ticked that you have to scrape off your windshield.
The problem is that sometimes those days are Sundays. Since we're all worship leaders we have an added responsibility to come prepared to lead in worship... and how do we do that? well, we worship and thank God for all He is and all He has done. But we can't do that when we're wondering if the pot roast is burning or if we're still mad at our husband for not helping get all the kids ready. We need to be prepared to worship before we take the platform on Sunday morning. I'm going to call this pre-worship.
Ok let's stop, take a break and I'll tell you what's prompting this topic. I struggle with this concept of pre-worship (a lot). I drove home tonight thinking about some things that happened today and frankly asking God to forgive me for not sticking to my guns in some things today. For not taking opportunities to serve. For being lazy. I really hate disappointing God (although it seems to be a gift i have). I hate doing something i know is wrong and having that horrible guilty feeling right after, knowing i'll need to ask for forgiveness, but knowing i'm not worthy of it.
Last week at this same time I was sleeping. I had done most things right last sat. I was ready to worship God the next day and excited to do so. This week I'm having trouble getting my mind off the guilt I have and the disapointment i feel God must have (praise the Lord He's forgiving). I'm thinking about how I'll be waking up in 5 hours and how I can't wait for an afternoon nap. I'm thinking i need to post a blog, get the powerpoint done and transferred, tune my guitar (broke a string on wed.), get things ready, do this do that... you notice how God wasn't anywhere in there? Like i said last week, our motivation determines everything. My motivation is way off this week. I need to get centered on God. The rest of all that junk will take care of itself. If i'm going to lead God needs to be important not all the things i need to do before and after i supposedly worship.
So here's the challenge: take time each Sunday morning (figure out how this will work into your schedule) to quiet yourself and talk to God. Do it for more than 10 minutes, try 20 or 30 this time. Ask Him to help you lead this morning (or if you're not leading, ask him to reveal himself to you). Ask Him to help you see worship in your surroundings. Ask Him to show you ways in which you can give back to Him. I hope everyone in church would do this, but my charge is to you.
May we grow together.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
the question why
Hello everyone. I've decided to start this blog in an effort to communicate with you all at least once a week about different things that need to be said, or are going on, or whatever. Hopefully through this you'll be able to see my heart as a worship leader and maybe I'll be able to see yours from responses.
First off, let me say that I in no way feel adequate to be telling you all what to do or how to do it, especially those of you who I grew up calling Mr. or Mrs. However, I have been given this authority so now I have to decide what I'm going to do with it. And here is just one of my efforts.
This week I want you to ask yourself the question "why?". Not why did God let such and such happen, or why have these things been put into my life, but rather why do I do what I do? Ask yourself why you are on the worship team, why you sing special music, why you even come to church at all.
I've been finding myself wrestling with these questions and found myself not really having answers at times. I used to come to church because I'd get in trouble if I didn't (thanks for those spankings mom & dad :). Then, when it became my choice it was mostly just to save face. I honestly was doing plenty of things for a long time that God wouldn't have called righteous (and neither would anybody else), but I was still up front and still helping to lead because that's just what I've always done. Hmm... what we've always done. Heard that one before?
Why do I sing special music? It used to be to show off. It really was. Occasionally I'd rationalize it to something spiritual, but usually it was because I felt talented enough to do it. Or maybe it was just my inner rock star coming out, or my need for attention. Who knows, but it was totally the wrong motivation.
Why do I do worship team? Again it used to be for such incredibly wrong motives. I enjoyed singing, I enjoyed playing guitar, and I loved being in a band (some of you may remember those CrewmanNumber7 days). Music had become my life and worship music was still music so I played it (there's that Rock Star thing again).
But what are the answers now? While sometimes my old habits fight to come back to the surface I can honestly say that I love... and I really do mean LOVE... worshiping God on Sundays. Especially those days where my heart is right and my focus is Him (there are days where it isn't). Man, when God connects with me through a song there's just something that is so amazing. So amazing that I can feel it through all of me and it makes me so joyful. And you know what the best part is? There could be 1,000 people watching or none and I would feel the exact same way. That is when I worshiping right. When I worship right I'm able to bring others to the same point.
So now it's your turn. Ask yourselves those questions. Be honest though. Really struggle through it. If you come out the other side of this struggle with a brutally honest answer of "to bring glory to God" then praise the Lord. If not, maybe it's time to reevaluate some things in your life. I can't tell you what exactly those things are, but you know what you need to change.
So think about it this week, and remember to always take time to reevaluate your life on a regular basis. Getting into a rut won't help you change. I hope you really do take the time to think about this, I may even ask everyone during a practice (this goes for you tech guys too!) so we can see how we're doing. Remember, your motivation affects everything.
First off, let me say that I in no way feel adequate to be telling you all what to do or how to do it, especially those of you who I grew up calling Mr. or Mrs. However, I have been given this authority so now I have to decide what I'm going to do with it. And here is just one of my efforts.
This week I want you to ask yourself the question "why?". Not why did God let such and such happen, or why have these things been put into my life, but rather why do I do what I do? Ask yourself why you are on the worship team, why you sing special music, why you even come to church at all.
I've been finding myself wrestling with these questions and found myself not really having answers at times. I used to come to church because I'd get in trouble if I didn't (thanks for those spankings mom & dad :). Then, when it became my choice it was mostly just to save face. I honestly was doing plenty of things for a long time that God wouldn't have called righteous (and neither would anybody else), but I was still up front and still helping to lead because that's just what I've always done. Hmm... what we've always done. Heard that one before?
Why do I sing special music? It used to be to show off. It really was. Occasionally I'd rationalize it to something spiritual, but usually it was because I felt talented enough to do it. Or maybe it was just my inner rock star coming out, or my need for attention. Who knows, but it was totally the wrong motivation.
Why do I do worship team? Again it used to be for such incredibly wrong motives. I enjoyed singing, I enjoyed playing guitar, and I loved being in a band (some of you may remember those CrewmanNumber7 days). Music had become my life and worship music was still music so I played it (there's that Rock Star thing again).
But what are the answers now? While sometimes my old habits fight to come back to the surface I can honestly say that I love... and I really do mean LOVE... worshiping God on Sundays. Especially those days where my heart is right and my focus is Him (there are days where it isn't). Man, when God connects with me through a song there's just something that is so amazing. So amazing that I can feel it through all of me and it makes me so joyful. And you know what the best part is? There could be 1,000 people watching or none and I would feel the exact same way. That is when I worshiping right. When I worship right I'm able to bring others to the same point.
So now it's your turn. Ask yourselves those questions. Be honest though. Really struggle through it. If you come out the other side of this struggle with a brutally honest answer of "to bring glory to God" then praise the Lord. If not, maybe it's time to reevaluate some things in your life. I can't tell you what exactly those things are, but you know what you need to change.
So think about it this week, and remember to always take time to reevaluate your life on a regular basis. Getting into a rut won't help you change. I hope you really do take the time to think about this, I may even ask everyone during a practice (this goes for you tech guys too!) so we can see how we're doing. Remember, your motivation affects everything.
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